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Kittywfz

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= Mae West =

Churpchurp!!

Does this darkness have a name?

Tuesday, October 9, 2012|0 note(s)

Hi everybooodyyy! Im like updating this space everyday.
Eventually when I get home, and I go about my daily duties without really being present at all. It’s like this empty feeling...
I’m not quite sure what to write about today. Everything is the same as it was yesterday and the day before, and the day before that.. It all feels the same because they were all lies. Lieslieslies.
I wonder how some people could lie without even flinching, without even feeling sad. I know, i get it. Lying to someone whom you don't love or don't give a fuck about. Right? Is this the way?

Or do you wear a mask to hide your face, your lies. You? I've so many to ask you, but i know you don't have something legit, something you thought you wouldn't do. Would you?

This is the last time I’ll write about you. So enjoy it, because you’ll never get this much attention from a girl again.
This time around I’m not crying, my heart isn’t breaking. In fact, I’m smiling. You think that just because you stole something from me, I’ll lose everything? I won’t. I’ll never lose it all. I’ll always have a place. Why? Because I don’t screw people over.

So enjoy your spoils of thievery, and know that they don’t bother me. I stopped letting you get to me the second I saw what a player you really are. I have friends. Thus, there will always be a place for me. You set me back, yes. But you haven’t left me with nothing. I still have everything. And now I’m free. So maybe you should re-read all those old, tear-stained posts where I wrote about my undying love for you. I know you enjoyed those, I know they fed your ego. I’m sorry to say you’ll never mean that much to anyone ever again. Especially not me.

I’m acting all tough and I’m saying things I don’t mean. I want to mean them, though. I want to be angry at you, I want to hate you as much as I say I do. But the truth is I would probably still give up everything for you.

I don’t know what I’m writing about anymore. Every day things change and I can’t seem to keep up. I hate feeling this confused it’s dreadful. My previous post. Did I even mean it? Is that really how I feel? I read it back now and I wonder what the hell I was thinking with when I wrote it.

Then I read the one before that, and the one before. And I’m left even more puzzled as to exactly what is going on inside my head.

I really wish I didn’t have to live with myself sometimes.

Forgiveness is never easy. Bitterness is easy. Hatred is easy. But forgiveness, that's a tough one. Sometimes, people say things they don't mean or do things they can't take back. Sometimes we do things we can't take back. So we feed ourselves to starve the pain.

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