Kittywfz

Random = Mae West =

Churpchurp!!

I can take everything. Every blow, every pain he's given me. It's okay. I can. I'm stronger than what everybody thought I was. I'm shocked everybody thought I was a weakling and kept things from me. I never knew I was so weak and fragile. I don't think I'm a toy. I'm a human like everybody is. Everybody deserves to know the truth from everything & not to be kept from. I really never thought I was such a weakling in people's eyes. Or they chose just not to tell me because they don't love me anymore? Or maybe, or otherwise.. The the pain will eventually subside. We'll still miss that person, but we will never let them back into our lives when we know they won't change, never will. Letting them back and the cycles repeat over and over again. Why do time machines not exist? No matter how stupid or how inhuman a person is, they deserve to be loved. People said, I brought things upon myself. People always say, love and fall out of love over and over again to learn to really love someone right. So, which is deserved? What have I brought upon myself? Do I deserve those cold attitudes, those stupid things people do? And when I finally give up, they blame me for giving up? Haven't I done enough? Haven't I been clinging on and hurting myself enough? I'm tired of all these. All these deservingly things everybody claimed. I chose not to continue anymore.

What am I talking about? Everyday I go home, doing things without presence. Feeling anti. I thought I would stand strong and take every blow. But I'm like a barricade. I will fall. Eventually, every part of me will collapse. These days I've been feeling alone, uninvited. Everybody looked familiar, the places and voices sound familiar. I close my eyes. I saw us. The past. Every little bit of me started to tremble when those memories replay. I stopped. I snapped back to reality and I felt a tinge in my heart. The bitterness, the pain. The fact that you are not here. The fact that you moved on. Reality. That's what it is. People lie. People keep things and secrets. People fall in love and hurt. Inhuman, cold-blooded humans. So they really do exist. The world is scary. I want to stay in my dreams. The ones which I will never wake up from. To reality. It hurts. Things are killing me which I never thought it would. Who wouldn't want to be happy? Who doesn't wants to be loved than hated? Who doesn't love rainbows, candies and balloons... We all want to be happy. We all wished we were who we use to be and pain never changed us.
Now. We just wish we had a time machine to rewind and stop at those times we were most happy. For me, I would rewind the times where I wasn't born.
Period.


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